Ausswitz

It would be impossible to speak about it if it had not been so important. That is why if we do not speak about it – it will be forgotten. But such thing cannot be forgotten. I cannot imagine how it looked like in that time because it is beyond my comprehension. Nevertheless, it’s so quiet here now that even birds keep silent in remembrance of this incident in the past. Not so distant past. The faces’ of visitors would be shielded by shadow as soon as they would go deep within the camp. It will go away in the future, but not soon enough. There are big trees that spread thick branches everywhere around – dumb witnesses of human cruelty. “Work makes you free” – it closed by iron cage behind me and it’s impossible to not think how many foots crossed ominous gates that were made – so sad, not by someone, just by a human being. If by a human being? Then you do not want to make either photos or conclusions because hundreds of eyes look at you from the walls – the same eyes like yours but somehow at that time they weren’t accepted like humans. What did they see in these eyes? And why were they judged  not for crime or moral fault but only for the thing, who you were by flesh and blood? And because of that you were not just despised or expatriated from the society but simply without any doubt or twinge of conscience you were destroyed. You were mass killed. Thousands of worlds, thousands of eyes – that stopped existing in few minutes. Is there any explanation or excuse for that? You do not want to believe. Your mind cannot understand it and paint. Room by room, scary stories, stories that are not fabricated and because of that your feelings are obtunded and you do not believe in anything at all. You ask yourself if something like this could have place, if something like this could happen and all these questions, the main one “why?” lead you to the situation when you ask yourself “it is me who has difficulties and is bad in life”? When you go out from the camp the life fall by a waterfall on you…Life is beautiful. You know it.

Sun is mixed with the shadow of the past. Going out of the barrack, seeing the sun beam on the fields, it seems that the nature is laughing and whispering – this is not mine, this is yours, by your hands work. The barracks stay in death ranks. The same summer was in that time; scary and merciless. When people made the most hateful and horrible thing there were these wonderful sunny days…Was it enough just to live under the sunny sky, was it necessary to kill? Kill much without any weighty reason… Is there any reason to kill? It is not enough just to see it, just to know about it…Only there you understand what life means, the life in the worse conditions but life in freedom, where there is a choice between life and death…It is hard to think that somebody didn’t have this choice…